Thinking back to my visit to Holland
A few weeks ago, at the end of June, I visited Lemele, my hometown in the east of the Netherlands. Here I grew up on a dairy farm, a farm with cows, horses, goats, rabbits, cats and dogs. You name it, I was free in nature, I could spend hours sitting in a tree in front of our house, or playing football with my little brother. Later, around my teenage years, my parents started a farm camping, so there were always guests and children around the house and the farm. Never a dull day.
When I turned 18, I had had it with the village stuff, everyone having an opinion about you, everyone watching you, everyone knew everyone. You know the drill. I didn't feel at home there any more. I wanted more. I went to school in Zwolle, a city nearby and looked for a place for myself. After four wonderful years of living in Zwolle, I discovered the big city Amsterdam. I went for a year up and down by train from Zwolle to Amsterdam to follow my studies as an interior stylist there part time, every time I arrived by train, I walked to my school on the Rozengracht. It was about a half-hour walk and I took my time, enjoying the energy, the different languages around me, the city life. It made me curious and I wanted to taste more and more of it. After a while, I found a flat to share with two other flatmates. I have experienced so much there. What a great city, what a wonderful time. I always look back on it with great pleasure. Until I stood still... 27, 28, 29 years little changed for me... and I didn't see that change happening in Amsterdam either. Not for me in that case. I was looking for more, for something new. Always 'abroad' triggered me, I would and had to try this once. I was always afraid that I would not have enough money to take that big step, no safety net, no savings. But when the time came, money made no difference, I needed balls and guts. To actually take that step. Now I've been here for more than two years and there will be many more to come.
The song 'My Hometown' by Bruce Springsteen, always reminds me of my dad. I came to Lemele for 2 weeks to spend time with my family and it was about time. It had been a year since I had seen them. Time flies by and the Covid didn't help to make it easy. But at the end of June I had a wonderful time, I arrived on Sunday, Father's Day, immediately the whole family complete, super nice. One of these evenings that week, my dad and I put on a couple of old golden Bruce Spingsteen songs, 'Dream baby Dream', Working on a dream and My Hometown. What great songs, the lyrics and his voice, it was an emotional moment to share them together. I have always loved the 60's 70's & 80's Love it. Fine soul, blues, or rock. Good music.. brings Good times and make good memories.
Finally I get to know my little sweet niece Vere! Who was born healthy and well in February. What a sweetie, really a wonderful, contented girl. Luckily I was able to spend many days with her, waking up, giving her a bottle, playing together, sleeping together, in the middle of the night giving her a cuddle and a thumb in her mouth and going back to sleep ahah I was there. I needed some real quality time with her, to get to know her and she me. Noï my older niece turned 3 years old that weekend. This happy, energetic, smart lady also filled my days with drawing, playing games, puzzles, playing football and last but not least trampoline jumping! What a party.
To her I am the aunt who lives 'very far away'. So nice to see my sister and Tommie together in their little family. To spend time together, to really talk to each other face to face and to be able to give each other a hug. I look back at it with warm emotions.
Back in Lemele, where I even enjoyed the village atmosphere, watching the Dutch EK football together in the local disco Zaal Dijk, where I danced many nights from the age of 15 to 18. Chatting with my brother's group of friends over a beer and a fried snacks, cycling home as if we were 15 years back and returning together from the third half of the football pitch. Plopping down on the couch at his place with his girlfriend Jessie also feels like a nice home, with good conversations until the wee hours of the morning, we have all come closer to each other again. What distance can do to a person, brings you much closer together at special moments.
Now I think back to the days in Lemele and surroundings, Lemelerberg, Den Ham, Zwolle, it's not so bad after all! Who would have thought that I would ever say that ahhah! They always say wait until you get older, then you appreciate other things. So I come back to that now. I really enjoyed the nature, the peace, the green surroundings, taking nice walks with my mother in the area and on the Lemelerberg, chatting about everything and nothing, about my life in Portugal, my new and old friends, my exes and boys who passed by and that in the end I will be on my own again, with or without a lover, I lOVE. I have precious people around me. I am never really alone unless I choose to be. Which I also like to do. I have days when I would rather not see anyone and take time for myself. I have reassured mothers that I am happy the way I am and how I live my life. In my own way.
My home town... is not so bad after all. Now that I am mapping out my future here in Portugal, I even notice that I am searching for what I have always had. A place of my own under the sun, a Quinta (farm) house where I can start my own vegetable garden, have fruit trees around me. Fixing up extra rooms to rent out for my guesthouse here in Portugal. I enjoy the city life to go out and have a nice dinner and go out with friends every now and then. But I am oh so happy when I am back in the quiet, nature and walking on the beach. The sun on my face, the wind in my hair...
Dream baby dream...
Dear family, thank you for all the nice moments together.
Miss you, love you, think of you.
