# Blog 10 - Lock^UP

I can see clearly now the rain is gone.

 I can see all obstacles in my way.

Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind.

 It's gonna be a bright (bright)

 Bright (bright) sunshiny day.

Life is not easy, especially this past year and months that we are passing, everything and everybody is being tested. Tested by the rules, taking our freedom, locked at our homes, tested by your partner or with the person you live with, you are being tested how much you can sacrifice for your health, for the health of your family, for the health of your colleagues or people you see every day or stranger you meet every day, she or he can be strong or weak, maybe healthy and strong from the outside but having a high risk inside of the body, you can't see, you cant know. Everybody is unsafe of this crazy Covid. It is driving everybody crazy.. and just when you think Fuck this year! We are gonna do everything better and different in 2021! You start the year strong and happy and with new energy! Goodbye, 2020. HELLOO New year.. we get all screwed by ourselves and are back in lockdown, one by one every country goes back in lockdown… more and more are getting sick and many people die, the numbers are rising again, it is unbelievable.. and scary, did we learn something?? Or maybe we did not.. But let's not talk about the Covid itself.. let's talk about what did you learn from it.. being with yourself over and over again.. looking at walls day in day out. Maybe starting the day happy, the sun shines, make a nice breakfast, like every other day and thinking what will I do today, and then it stops right there. Because.. what is there to do today? What can I do today, That is the moment you have to be strong and make something of every single day. 

It is not easy! But if you have a goal for yourself you can breathe in breathe out, start with small things and make your way to follow that path to your end goal. It can be anything, big or small if it makes you happy! It will make you stronger. It will give you the power you need. Last year in march i started with yoga and learning Portuguese.. i am still doing it but it did not give me the power i needed. 

My goal is MONEY. And it sounds freaking ugly, I know that, I did not know this would keep me as strong as I am still standing today. But it keeps me getting through the day. Money is something I can easily miss, i did not care for it all my life, i never had any savings on my bankaccount. If i can pay my bills and have food (and wine) in my house.. i really don’t need much else. So the first part is saving money. 

The second part is making more money, I work 5 days a week 8 hours a day. Then I have 2 days off, which I can't do much in this lockdown. So I figured let's try to work 1 day, a couple of hours extra, maybe both days a couple of hours extra, let's see how i feel. I can sleep out, do some things like buying groceries, do some yoga, washing my clothes and that’s it. Those things I like to do. It makes me feel better when everything is clean in the house, and enough food in the fridge to make it through the next week. It also cleans my head, if everything is organized and fresh, smelling good around me it makes me feel good too. Then in the afternoon, I start my extra hours of work. Just 4..5 hours extra. Not getting sick of the job and just stop on time, when I have a little bit of energy left for my free evening. I feel good after. Good that I did it! Proud that I can make my list of total hours this month more and more. Why am I working for more money? for 2 reasons and they are both the most important things in my life. Family & my future. 

The first reason is to travel, and yes does not everybody wants to travel? Sure.. but I have to travel to see my family again, the last time I saw them it was on the 27th of June last year, the birthday of my little cute niece Noï, she turned 2 years old and that was something special for me, and I did not wanna miss it. I was there for 10 days, visiting a lot of friends and spending most of my time with my family. I miss my family these days, it seems like i am getting closer with them now im living far away, they will be always there for me. and yes my first travel this year will be back to them. Aaaandd with a new member of the family! My sister is pregnant and she is due on the 23rd of February on my birthday :D hiiihii I love it! But of course, we have to wait and see when the little girl is ready to come out. Days before or after.. it could be any date, of course, I would be happy to share my birthday with her. So in one month, I would hope i can fly to the Netherlands and have some quality time with my family. #Trip 1. 

Soo my POWER note in front of my desk says: 

Lockdown UP! ^

Let’s make money
Let’s save money

&

Make amazing trips when the world is ready. 

I get a DOWN feeling from the down, so i made it UP. 

#Trip2. That being said. It is not all, but the second trip will be more in the future and we will have to wait and see how this will work out for me and the group. Close friends of mine are planning to travel to Brazil, we are a group of 5 and 2 of them are from brazil. 2 of them from France and me the Dutchie. They are going to visit their family and spend time back in there home town and for us it's an amazing opportunity to see a crazy, beautiful place as South brazil through the eyes of 2 locals, to guide us and to avoid the tourist places and explore the local, hidden places. Brazil and almost all of South America is on the top of my list. If the world and the money and the covid and everything will bring me this opportunity to go with my friends to Brazil end this year? I say HALLELUJA YES! Aaaand I think this will cost me more or less 1500/2000 euro?! 

Soo this is just a smaallll side note of making money haha It is just 2000 euro, right? Goddamn and that with the salary I am getting here.. it will take me a lot more hours to work. But I have to start from somewhere right!

And you know what.. somebody smart told me that I have bigger plans to save money for. That’s my sis, always the smart one, while I am just following my heart, she’s the one that follows her heart but first listen to her smart brain. My brain does not work that way, sadly. And happily! Otherwise, I would not be here in the first place. Amsterdam was much easier to just live my life. But I choose adventure and left my nice job, my nice apartment in the middle of Amsterdam, my friends and family, my good salary. I left a perfectly good life. Because my heart told me so. (a)

and she’s right. I told her.. I can put every week 1 euro in 10 piggy banks and I will have my windowsill full with piggy’s for all my wishes but yeah.. that does not work and probably in the end of the month i take back 10 euro to buy another bottle of wine :p.. But! I told you once I DO have a plan for myself, living here in Portugal. And indeed that needs money. 

#My future

One day I will open my own Guesthouse here in Portugal. I don’t know how I don’t know where. But I know it will happen. This can be in 2 years.. or 5 or 10 years, but I will make it work. 

I would love to have a big house with 4, 5 extra bedrooms for my guest. I will have a beautiful garden around the house, a vegetable garden, with my own fresh greens, potatoes, fruits, name it, and trees around the house with fresh lemons, oranges, avocado’s and palm trees, chickens walking around, for an egg for your breakfast and i want flowers, Sunflowers, because they always shine, they keep there head up high to the sun! Bright and strong. I will make small areas where my guests; you! can read a book, drink a glass of wine, just listening to the birds or sheep’s around you, listening to the silence of nature, enjoying the warmth of the sun. There will be an area with a fireplace where you can relax and get warmed by the wood when the sun goes down, maybe you cut the wood by yourself, or a handsome strong man is cutting it in front of you while I am preparing the dinner from our garden that we can grill on the bbq or cook it above the fire. You will be just enjoying everything around you. Because! I love nature and I love to make a comfortable house, stylish and warm, with a lot of plants, and soft colors, only to make you happy. You can fall asleep in a hammock outside under the lemon tree, or pick an orange and make your own fresh juice.. You can just sit and see the sunset above the see in a far view in front of you. I wanna share what i am enjoying the most in this beautiful country. Yeah.. you already read I am daydreaming away just by thinking of my house in the future. I can keep talking and living in this ‘fairy tale‘ for hours, but then I can also tell you, wait and see. One day you knock on my door and asking for a free room in my beautiful, cozy guesthouse. I believe in it. Just follow the sun, look for the sunflowers and knock on my door. 

Then I come to my final point I wanna share with you due to these ‘dark winter’ blablabla days of the covid. Tell me.. did you think of the covid when you were reading about my guesthouse? Or did you really felt the freedom of nature and the warm sun and the fresh orange juice? It's all about what you WANT to think. That will make you smile. 
The thought you have, will make you feel the way you want. 

*Big thanks & love for this advice from Katinka a friend in Monchique*
#The Secret

For example.. Are you feeling lonely and you think of the people you miss, and how bad you would want to be with them, you will probably be laying in bed right now with a pillow in your arms hugging and squeezing like the person you miss. You will feel terrible and I am really sorry for you, but that won't help, you can do this maybe a maximum of once a week(month)! to give it a place, but it will not help you enough, try to think of the things you would like to do with that person you miss, do you wanna go camping together? Or just watching Netflix laying in each other's arms or walking at the beach with your dog? What makes you happy? what do you desire? What brings a smile on your face and a tickle in your stomach. 

Keep this thought! And keep believing in it. If you keep sending this thought to the universe, it will come to you. This will happen, and how more times you feel happy and put this thought out loud, how sooner it will happen for you. I am sure of that. 100%, Never stop dreaming. Don’t stop believing. If it is big or small if this will make you happy? you are already living it for 80% the next 20% it will find the way to you. Or that path that you need to walk will appear in front of you, If your mind is open to see what the universe is wanting to give you, you will see the signs around you that leads you the right way. 

Soo sweeetheartsss, please stay strong these crazy days, try to be positive! try to find a goal for yourself, whatever it is. If it works for you. Believe in it. 

If I can ask you to do one thing for me..  =)
please give a little comment below, to give me and maybe the next one who reads it some strength!
Maybe I look so strong.. But this story comes from somewhere on my way climbing up, still learning from my mistakes and get stronger out of it. 

Do you believe in my Guesthouse? Do you believe in my fairy tale? Let me know and give me more strength. And SeeYou in a couple of years knocking on my door for a room to dream in. 

Lots of love!!