The good & the bad
What has happened a lot, it cannot be described in days ... weeks ... months, I have absolutely no sense of time, time flies and at the same time, some days are beautiful and so long.
The restaurant has very changing days, on Tuesday and Wednesday, there can be just 20 people in front of you and on Thursday suddenly only 2 or 4 people. Every day is still a surprise. Portugal is not yet busy, it is still pretty quiet everywhere, the restaurants that has been busier are the tourist spots in the middle of a town .. lesser quality and low prices, the people we receive from it is a quarter, maybe even less and we are very happy that they can enjoy it so much, a lovely terrace, great service and delicious food. They are often ready for that after having seen tourist menu cards for a few evenings and then it is also worth the money to spend a little more with us for a night out. So yes, we are patient and the word is spreading slowly, 95% of the guests are very happy and happy that they have discovered us, 5% are crazies, or think it is too expensive or just had bad luck, say it. September has started, together with October it is said that these are the months in which the target group comes into the country who have been here before, or have a vacation home here, they are happy to spend a little more money for quality and if they come to satisfaction they return more often. I already notice this week from the reservations and enthusiasm of the guests that a good time is coming for us! I feel l it, and its nice they give me energy. The Saturdays are the best, I think. the Chef then creates a nice surprise menu of about 6 courses, all delicious, full of beautiful ingredients, a piece of art on your plate. Every course is a surprise of taste, a party to bring this to the table. This evening is, therefore, the most successful evening, everyone enjoys and drinks a bottle of wine along the courses, or 2 or 3 bottles .. and then rolling and enjoying, late in the evening, home after talking about a nice evening. I like to end the week with that.
And then I have the weekend! We are closed on Sundays and Mondays and we always make it a party, weekend away! Zé and I have found each other completely, surprise about half of my friends already saw this coming and yes .. we are crazy about each other .. and sometimes a little to crazy .. or do we make each other completely crazy. Zé is the Chef of the restaurant and my roommate .. so we see each other everywhere every day, after about 3 weeks .. 4 weeks to arrive here in Portugal, we couldn't get around each other anymore, the appeal is big. In the beginning, this caused a lot of doubt on my part, okay, you are my roommate .. but also my colleague, we are becoming good friends, are we going to put all this at stake? What if it goes wrong, what if we hurt each other, how do we continue to live here in this setting, see each other every day, angry or sad .. What Then? Or.. not? maybe not, will we remain as happy as we are now?! I love the way way are! Those questions stayed in my head but the weeks and weekends flew by and we can't live without each other. It is so goodbad, that we take the car together every Sunday to go away for the weekend. Just the two of us. The first weekend he surprised me with a road trip. He didn't say where, just "I want to show you a beautiful place," I had to bring something warm and my bikini. Yes Sir! =). We get in his car and drive towards the sun. Delicious soul music echoing through the speaker, windows open, feet up and there we go. Enjoying all the beauty of the Algarve, Portugal is so beautiful, and we are two life lovers, we can look around for hours, watch the day crawl past with a little music, these are the most beautiful long days, nothing is impossible. After 1 hour of driving, I look at him with question marks? Where are we going? We past the half, he says .. Half? Hahaha okay okay, I am very curious. After more than 2 hours driving through mountains and forests we arrive at the west coast, we are almost there, at that moment we cross a bridge and on your left you see the river coming from the sea into the country, on both sides, beautiful sandy beaches and one a small village .. and on the right a river beautifully into nature and mountains. We are here. “Vila Nova de Milfontes” driven more than 100 kilometers and at ease with his Renault old-timer we can go up to 80 km per hour. We arrive in a stunning environment. It makes me completely silent and can only look around me enjoying everything. What a wonderful place, we drive into the village, drive towards the sea for the highest point with a view over the entire area. It is now already late in the afternoon and we have a glass of wine, he looks at his phone to book a hostel, I say euuuhhmm you didn't mention a toothbrush or underwear ?! Hahaha but yeah, whatever! We stay! because we can. He had even thrown a tent in the back of the trunk in case we stopped somewhere halfway or we came across another nice spot. I call this life. Love it!
This is the start of our weekend away .. and I think you can feel how nice these outings are together. We don't think, we just go, get into that car, face life. Literally away from your living and working environment. Being together like this is intense ... and worth every minute. Every weekend feels like a vacation. Sunday morning away, Monday evening or Tuesday morning back. feels like a week. Big highs.
In the meantime we have already had the following trips briefly, otherwise this blog will get to long!
- Monchique delicious Black pig eaten> in the evening to Lagos for the last sun and drinks on a roof terrace> end walk and drink in Alvor.
- Vila Nova de Milfontes: Road trip / Surprise weekend > my favorite!
- Monchique: Restaurant searched high in the mountains with beautiful views over the mountains and in the distance the sea, driven to Aljezur on the west coast for a wonderful sandy beach with high rocks behind you, stayed there one night, beach hopping next day afternoon along Vila do Bispo> on to Sagres the very tip of south-western Portugal, on top of the rocks with a beer and a watermelon enjoying the view and the splashing water below you, and ending in a beach bar Cabanas with tropical beach feeling and dolphins jump into the distance with a dinner.
- Tavira Island: Weekend away with the colleagues to one of our colleagues Rafa from the kitchen, he lives with his girlfriend in the city of Tavira and takes us to the island of Tavira. Come along, bring a hammock, bbq stuff, food and drink for 2 days and enjoy! Super cozy and chill weekend together. I mean 3 chefs and a bbq! what else do you want: D
- Seville: Inspection for my car, what a beautiful city, it had been on my list for years but now I have to go there for other reasons, lets make it a gooood weekend. Booked 1 night, enjoying all the tasty tapas and wines, strolling through the city, through parks and past a beautiful castle, in the evening on a roof terrace after enjoying the city, we change our mind and book another night, doesnt make sense to drive back already. More wine and tapas for us and then the next morning slowly back to work.
So we have already spent a lot of wonderful weekends together .. I cannot explain every detail in every weekend .. these are moments you just have to be there and feel and see for yourself. But believe me! Time of my life. For real. Really. I could not have wished for more these months. The love together .. the boundlessness, carefree life, sun every day and beautiful surroundings .. What else right!
But then it all falls apart a bit ... pretty disintegrating .. Zé and I have lost each other in everything .. Maybe it went too fast, too much, maybe I was not ready yet .. just tell me, i can list a thousand things that I could or should have done differently but I did what felt good to me .. and this has not worked out now .. we have both been severely devastated .. really a very deep low in our relationship, after soooo many intensely beautiful days together. 3 months that we see each other every day, which in a different relationship may have been spread over half a year .. year .. we have fully enjoyed it in a short time. But perhaps not the right timing. I will try only to speak for me, a new country, new people, new house, new work .. everything was new .. maybe I lost myself in it. No free fall for me, there was too much at stake. What a dissapointment, now that love has broken. Without this love, the rest suddenly doesn't seem that important anymore. The base of your house and your work, which normally makes your life stable and with which you can cope with blows, also makes you a lot more stable as a person. The situation that we also share our house and work together is therefore emotionally charged everywhere. Constant confrontation and that is not easy at all, and sometimes a struggle.
In the same week, I also got a slap in the face at work. Probably due to accumulating irritations in various areas. The frustrations in my way of working got bigger and I got to hear them too, I received them, listened to them. I learned from that and hopefully we will all benefit from it. A starting restaurant is never perfect and only gets better with trial and error. We need to communicate better with each other and express what we see and think, because together we can grow. Instead of opening my mouth at the wrong times, it doesn't benefit anyone. That was my fault and especially not my place at the time. So everything around me had just fallen away. I walked on eggs everywhere for a few weeks, 1 step too much to the left or right and everything broke around me. I have never felt so weak. With Zé, at home, and at work ... i hit rock bottom, and I have never felt so alone. No people around me who really knew me, my own friends and family .. for an arm around me or a shoulder on which I could cry. These were long emotional days, weeks .. But I was able to give it a place and I climb up again.
I have to take some time now, find myself again and go on a voyage of discovery in this beautiful country .. because I am not going to leave because of setbacks .. what doesn't kill you makes you stronger right! Pff so yes breath in. breath out .. and keep going. I'm not going to give up.
Fortunately, we are now a few weeks later, work is back on track, maybe we now only respect each other more. For what we worth each other. The friends that I have gathered around me are not many, but they were there for me and I will not forget that, Thanks for that!
After a lot of talking and crying and yelling, Zé and me still not tired of each other. We still live side by side, like housemates and colleagues, with painful moments, emotional and sadness. But also, being there for each other, a hug on time, a drink and taking care of each other and that is something very beautiful. He has conquered a special place in my heart. I look back to having a beautiful time together, I don't regret anything, even though it may not have gone as we hoped, we had different expectations of us being together. It may feel like a disappointment. We still learn from each other every day, how we are as individuals and how we should live with this.
So my life is not only about Roses. But there are setbacks around the corner. Wherever you are, wherever you live, you always have to deal with yourself and people around you, emotions, expectations and disappointments. Huge highs and Deep lows. But! the sun keeps shining! And so will I.
Thank you so much for all the phone calls, texts, hugs for the people close to me and far away. You all supported me in your own way. As much as you could and I am grateful for that. It gave me strength and showed me that I was never really alone.
Love you!
Loves Yvon
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